


Blaine the Babysitter

by thathipsterkaiya



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Family Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, Jealous!Dan, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Parenthood, Swearing, parent!phan, possessive!Dan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-27
Updated: 2017-07-27
Packaged: 2018-12-07 20:30:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11631327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thathipsterkaiya/pseuds/thathipsterkaiya
Summary: Dan and Phil are parents who work full-time jobs to provide for their two children, Dillon and Matilda. When they decide on hiring a babysitter for their kids, Dan is not a fan of the idea, especially if said babysitter is a charming young gay male named Blaine whom Dan believes is out to get his husband.





	Blaine the Babysitter

**Author's Note:**

> A lot of you requested for a babysitter!au fic so hopefully this suffices! I know it’s probably not what most of you were expecting, but I hope you all enjoy it anyway! whoo!

“So the shipments for the T-shirts have already been taken care of?” Phil pressed the phone closer to his ear as the cacophony of pots clanging and the obscene Dora the Explorer theme song flooded from the kitchen. God knows how the hell the noise traveled all the way upstairs to the end of the hall and into his office.

“Yes sir,” the man on the other side of the phone replied. “They’ve all been shipped out to their designated stations. All of the pre-orders should receive their products in around five to six business days.”

“Good, they better be in. We’ve already been getting complaints about delayed shippin-”

“Papaaaaaa!”

Phil sighed and put down the phone. “Dillon James Howell-Lester, how many times have I told you not to burst into the office all of a sudden and shout? I’m in the middle of an important call right now.”

“But papa, it’s an emergency!” The ginger-haired boy continued to whine.

“What is it?”

“Tils spilled soda all over the couch again.”

Phil tried to resist the urge to smile endearingly, putting on a stern face. “Can this wait for one minute?”  

“Fine,” Dil mumbled, folding his arms across his chest and pacing lazily by the door.

“Yes, sorry,” Phil resumed.

The man on the other side laughed. “Sounds like you got your hands full, boss. How about considering a babysitter?”

“Babysitter?”

“Yeah,” the man said. “Since I know you and your husband are working full time jobs to pay for your children’s school and piano lessons and all.”

“You remember that?” Phil asked in amazement.

“It’s interesting how much information stays with you while half listening to all of your off-branch rants and rambles about your family life, Mr. Lester.”

“Yes, well, erm,” Phil’s cheeks tinted red in embarrassment. “If that should be all-”

The man cut him off with a hearty laugh. “Have a nice day with your family, Mr. Lester.”

“Thank you,” Phil replied before hanging up the phone call.

“Why are you blushing, papa?” Dil asked.

“It’s nothing, Dil.” Phil got up from his chair. “So Tilly spilled soda all over our new couch?”

“Yes! And all over my Nintendo Switch controllers.”

A chuckle bubbled up in Phil’s chest at Dil’s pout. He was nine years old, for fuck’s sake; it was the most adorable thing in the world.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure they’ll be fine.”

“What if they’re not?”

Phil shrugged. “Then I guess you’ll have to live without a Nintendo Switch for a few months.”

“But PAPA-”

“No buts, Dillon.”

Dil slumped his shoulders in defeat, fuming silently the rest of the way down the stairs and into the living room.

Phil walked into the lounge, greeted by the sight of a stained sticky leather couch and imminently broken Nintendo Switch controllers laying on the coffee table. Tilly, meanwhile, decided to make herself busy in the kitchen, acting as if nothing had happened.

“Matilda Jane Howell-Lester, come here please,” Phil ordered.

“Coming!” The seven-year old girl chirped, skipping into the living room and standing innocently in front of her father.

“What is the meaning of this?” Phil gestured to the couch and empty soda cans.

“Yeah Tilly! Tell papa what happened,” Dil butted in snidely.

“Dillon!” Phil reprimanded.

Matilda stuck her tongue out at Dil, the male sibling reciprocating the gesture. She turned to face Phil once more and shrugged, her lips now thinned out nervously.

“Matilda,” Phil warned.

“Okay, okay,” Tilly sighed. “I spilled the soda on the couch.”

“See!”

“Dillon, if you interrupt one more time, I’m sending you to your room.”

“Yeah Dil!”

Dil folded his arms across his chest again, brooding silently.

“Matilda, go and clean up the couch, the table, and the floor. Make sure to mop so nothing is left sticky. Your dad and I will decide what to do with the couch.”

“Haha!” Dil grinned triumphantly, eliciting a groan from Tilly.

“You’re not off the hook young man,” Phil added. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught a large grin spreading across Tilly’s face. “You’re going to clean up the kitchen and explain to your dad exactly what happened.”

“Fine.”

“Now get moving, your dad’s gonna be here any second.”

The Howell-Lester children begrudgingly started their punishment cleaning. A few minutes passed by before the turning of keys on the doorknob reached Tilly’s ears.

“DADDY!”

“DAD!”

Opening the door, Dan found himself crowded by his two children clamoring excitedly.

“Hey guys! How are you?” Dan smiled, bending down to scoop Tilly into his arms and ruffling Dil’s hair affectionately.

“Dad! Tilly spilled soda all over the new couch! Papa went mental.”

“Is this true, Tilly?”

“Yes, dad.” Tilly’s cheeks turned bright red.

“Your papa and I will talk over what to do with it, okay? Now go back to your chores.”

The two groaned as Dan put Tilly back down on the floor.  

“Come on,” Dan urged, “don’t wanna make your papa upset.”

Whilst Dil and Tilly busied themselves with cleaning, Dan went upstairs and towards the end of the hall, knocking on the door.

“Phil?”

“Come in.”

Dan opened the door to Phil typing away on his computer, two emptied coffee mugs situated on his desk.

“Cleaning punishments? Really?”

“What else was I supposed to do?” Phil snapped up from his chair, throwing his arms out wildly.

“You could’ve just acknowledged that what Tilly did was an accident. But noo, you just had to go all authoritarian on them!”

“Well if you don’t discipline them, they will never listen!”

“Yes, but not like this!”

“It’s not that bad, Dan. You’re being too much of a cool parent. I’m always the one who has to put my foot down.”

“Is that necessarily a bad thing with you eliciting punishments like some sort of dictator? Who are you?  _Donald Trump?”_

“Okay, that’s the most ridiculous comparison I’ve ever heard. Are you really going to compare me to that orange fool?”

Dan sighed and ran his hands through his hair. “God, look at us, we’re fighting like kids!”

Phil sighed and sat back down in his office chair. Dan walked around the office desk to wrap his arms around Phil from behind when he caught sight of Phil’s computer screen.

“Um, Phil?”

“What?”

“Why the fuck are you searching up sex toys?”

“What the fuck?! Dan!” Phil quickly sprung into action and closed out of the tab.

“Too late. Why were you looking that up?”

Phil sighed. “Because I’m frustrated, and when I get frustrated, I get-”  
  


“Horny, I know.” Dan finished. He turned Phil’s office chair around so that Phil was facing him and slid onto his lap, running his fingers through Phil’s hair. “We could, later tonight. While the kids are asleep.” Dan’s voice was barely a whisper, his lips near Phil’s ear. Oh good god.

Phil mustered every ounce of self-control he had in him to gently push Dan away. “That’s so inappropriate! Do you want to scar our children for life?”

“They can’t be scarred for life if they’re asleep.”

Phil rolled his eyes. “Fine, whatever.”

Dan grinned widely in triumph.

 

~

 

Sex was always a very rushed and very secret activity for Dan and Phil. It was either do it quick and quiet or get caught for making too much noise. Phil would admit that despite his constant protests to Dan’s sexual offerings, he would always give in, mainly because it was good stress relief from raising two children 24/7.

Both were just on the verge of climax when Phil heard small footsteps thudding down the hall.

Eyes widening, he quickly shoved Dan off of him.

“What the fuck, Phil?!” Dan whispered indignantly.

“Shut up! Someone’s coming.”

_“Shit.”_

The two men scattered to get dressed decently. Just as Phil pulled his shirt on, a tentative knock came from the other side of the door.

“Who is it?” Dan called.

“Dad? Papa?” A soft voice whisped barely through the door. It was Tilly.

“Come in, Tils,” Dan said, his voice softening.

The door opened just a crack and a forehead holding a wild mane of brown hair and a pair of blue eyes peeked through the crevice.

“I had a nightmare,” Tilly whispered, running into the room and hopping onto the bed. Her cheeks were red with tear stains and her eyes were watery.

“It’s alright,” Phil said gently, “You can sleep between me and daddy.”

“Jesus Christ,” Dan muttered under his breath.

Tilly smiled shyly, snuggling herself in between Dan and Phil, falling asleep as quick as blowing out a candle. She was out like a light.

 

~

 

“A babysitter?”

“That’s what George suggested on the phone to me the other day,” Phil said as he and Dan were having lunch. Since Dil and Tilly were both at school today, the house was peaceful and free of discord for a few more days before summer break started.

“I mean, are you sure this is the best thing for them?”

“I can barely take care of them as it is, Dan. I have work, and they need to be watched every single minute so they’re never bored and don’t cause a ruckus like last time.”

“Come on, Phil. They’re good kids.”

“Which is why we need to do this for them. We can’t raise them like this, especially at this age. They need constant attention and rule enforcing from someone who has the time.”

Dan sighed. “How about we ask them when we get home?”

“Okay, sure.”

 

~

 

“So will the babysitter be with us everyday?” Tilly asked.

“I’m nine! I don’t need a babysitter!” Dil whined.

“Too bad, young man,” Phil said, “you obviously could not prove that when you let Tilly spill soda over the couch.”

Dil slumped his shoulders.

“The babysitter will be nice, I promise. They’ll be able to make you lunch and your favorite snacks, play video games with you, even take you swimming or drive you to cool places,” Phil further explained.

“Really?” Both Dil and Tilly said excitedly.

“Yes! And then when your dad comes home and I stop working for the day, you can have all the time you want with us.”

“Okay!” Tilly bobbed her head up and down.

“Yeah! We can go to the pool!” Dil exclaimed.

Phil chuckled. “Yep. I’ll talk to your dad about it, alright?”

 

~

 

“They said yes,” Dan said slowly.

“Yep,” Phil nodded. He then sighed. “Come on, Dan. It won’t be that bad.”

“I still don’t know about this. What if they’re a bad influence?”

“We’ll background check and get suggestions! Dan, if you want our kids to have a good childhood, they need this. Neither of us can afford to give up our jobs and we can’t just hole them up at home every single day.”

Dan pouted. “Ugh, fine. But only for the good of Dil and Tils.”

“Of course. Isn’t that why we’re doing this?”

 

~

 

“I’ll see you at lunch today,” Dan said as he slid on his navy blue blazer and planted a quick kiss on Phil’s lips.

“As always,” Phil nodded as he continued to butter the toast and set up the plates in the breakfast bar. “The babysitter will be here soon. You better hurry off or you’ll scare him away.”

Dan rolled his eyes. “I will  _not_  scare him away. If anything, you will.”

“Oh please,” Phil cheekily whacked Dan on the behind, receiving a sly wink from the brunette in reply as he headed out of the kitchen.

Dan’s hand was inches away from the door knob when the doorbell rang throughout the house.

 _Fucking great,_  Dan thought to himself as he opened up the door, which revealed a short friendly looking man with dark brown hair.

The man had style, Dan would admit. He had a bowtie on after all, but the brightly colored pants that went with the eccentric collared top was questionable to say the least.

“Hi, I’m Blaine Anderson!” The uniquely fashioned man greeted. “I’m here for Misters Howell-Lester.”

“Yep,” Dan said with an almost forced chuckle and a strained smile. “That I am,  _Mr. Howell-Lester.”_

“Cool!” The man grinned. “I’m babysitting your two kids, Dillon and Matilda, from 8 AM to 5 PM on the weekdays, right?”

“Yep,” Dan replied, trying his best to keep up his fixed smile. “You can find my husband in the kitchen making some breakfast, but his work starts shortly.”

“Oh, okay cool.”

“Thanks,” Dan mumbled, maneuvering past the man and straightening his blazer, hand tightly clenched to the strap of his messenger bag.

 _He’s charming, handsome, and obviously very very_  gay.

Dan continued to brood in silence as he hailed a taxi to head to work.

~

When Dan arrived home, he opened the door to see Dil and Tilly quietly enjoying some popcorn and soda in the living room with Pixar’s The Good Dinosaur playing on the TV.

T _hey’re never this quiet,_  Dan thought to himself as he crept into the house and quietly closed the door behind him, not even daring to disturb the blissful peace that somehow came down upon this house.

It was then he heard some light banter in the kitchen, so Dan tiptoed through the living room and into the kitchen, where we walked into a seemingly light-hearted conversation between Phil and their new babysitter.

“Dan!” Phil greeted. “You’re home!”

Forcing a smile onto his face, Dan replied, “Hey Phil.” He turned to the new babysitter. “Blaine, hello.”

“Hey!” Blaine waved back, that damned charming smile fitted onto his damned charming face.

“Dan, are you alright? You look pissed off.”

“Oh, don’t worry, I’m fine,” Dan said with a dismissive wave of his hand. He walked over to Phil and wrapped his arms around him, flickering his head back to Blaine with a sickly sweet smile. “Your shift’s over Blaine, right?”

“Oh yeah, right!” Blaine took a quick glance at his watch. “I better get going. I’ll go and say goodbye to the little guys and I’ll be off.”

Dan kept his eyes glued onto their new babysitter as he headed out of the kitchen and went over to Tilly and Dillon on the couch, watching as they both hugged Blaine before he let go and made his way towards the door.

“Thank you Blaine!” Phil called out as Blaine gave him a grin and exited the house, closing the door behind him.

“He seems to have done a fairly decent job,” Dan said almost vindictively. Almost.

“He was so good with the kids!” Phil said admiringly. “He even gave me some good tips on how to handle them and not be what both he and you called an ‘authoritarian.’”

“That’s good,” Dan replied absentmindedly, making a show of looking at his painted black nails.

“It’s been so long since the house has been this quiet,” Phil leaned against the refrigerator and sighed deeply, closing his eyes for emphasis.

“It’s been quiet here before, Phil.”

“Yeah, but not  _this_  quiet. Look at them!” Phil gestured to Dil and Tilly, who were still enjoying the movie on the couch. “They’ve been so well behaved ever since Blaine took over.”

“Well I’m glad Blaine is your new go-to for child support,” Dan huffed.

Whether Phil didn’t hear his snide reply or simply chose to ignore it, Dan didn’t know, as Phil made quick to start preparing for dinner.

 

~

 

A week passed. Then it was two weeks, and then before Dan could blink, it was a month. He was still royally pissed off that Blaine was magically good with kids,  _his_  kids especially.

But what really pissed Dan off was how Phil seemed to be in love with the guy. It was all just banter, but Dan couldn’t help but grit his teeth whenever he came home to Blaine teaching his clumsy husband how to cook a mean lasagna for the kids.

Or when he’d come home for lunch, Phil would praise Blaine’s spotless dish cleaning, a smile plastered onto his face that Dan could rarely get out of him on a good day.

Not to mention that raging jealousy that filled his chest when he’d see the grins on Dil and Tilly’s faces when Blaine came in - with a fucking apron that said  _Kiss the Cook_ , might he add - holding two huge steaming bowls of mac and cheese and set them down on the table in front of them.

It was ridiculous, the good-natured chatter between him and his husband, his healthy respectable relationship with the kids; it was all a complete disaster.

And Dan decided that he’d had enough.

 

~

 

Work today was particularly irksome as Dan grumbled to himself while making his way back home. Coat tightly wrapped around him as the rain persistently beat down against him, Dan could officially say that today was a bad day.

Usually he wasn’t this irritable, but his meeting at work was complete chaos, everyone talking over each other and no one listening to him. It didn’t help that the coffee machine in the staff lounge was out of order today as well. He couldn’t make his signature quadruple espresso half way through the day to keep him from dozing off every five minutes.

He finally was able to hail a taxi after fifteen minutes of aimless walking and brooding around London. When he arrived home, he could already hear the upbeat music blasting from inside his house.

_Oh god, they’re having a fucking dance party._

_Shit, that’s not what I meant-_

Dan shook his head out of his thoughts, opening up the door to his house. He wasn’t wrong, it was like he walked into a dance party.

Blaine was teaching Dil and Tilly how to dance to the Michael Jackson song playing from the speakers while Phil was leaning against the wall watching the scene with a smile on his face.

“What’s going on here?” Dan shouted over the music, causing Blaine to look up from the kids.

“Hey Mr. Howell!” Blaine beamed, lowering the volume significantly on the speakers.

“Dad!” Dil and Tilly chorused, running up to hug him.

“Hey Dan,” Phil smiled lightly. “Wanna join in?”

“No, I’m alright, thanks,” Dan mumbled, letting go of the kids.

“You alright?” Blaine asked, concern etched on his face. Unfortunately, it only annoyed Dan.

“I’m fine,” Dan reassured with a raised voice, walking straight past everyone out of the lounge.

 _Stupid Blaine,_  Dan seethed as he marched upstairs into his bedroom, almost violently tugging off his blazer and dress shirt as he changed into more comfortable clothing.  _Thinking he can just go and prance around with his stupid smile and his stupidly charming face and steal my kids and my husband._

“Dad?”

Dan turned around and saw Tilly standing at the doorway shyly. His face immediately softened and he gave his daughter a warm smile. “Hey Tils, what’s up?”

“Are you mad?” she asked.

“No,” Dan’s eyebrows furrowed, “why do you think that?”

“You look mad,” she frowned.

Dan sighed. “I’m not mad at you, Tils, don’t worry.”

“Are you mad at papa?”

“No, not really.”

“At Dillon?”

“No.”

“The babysitter?”

Dan didn’t reply.

“Do you hate Blaine?”

“Is he a good babysitter to you and Dil?” Dan asked after a while.

“Yeah,” she smiled, “he’s really nice and likes playing dolls with me!”

He couldn’t help but smile back at his little girl; he was glad that their new babysitter was willing enough to play dolls with Tilly for that long of a time, because God knows Tilly’s passionate roleplaying can last for hours.

“Did he take you guys anywhere?” he asked.

“He’s gonna take me and Dil swimming tomorrow!” Tilly started to bounce excitedly.

“That’s good,” Dan smiled, “I’m really glad you guys are having fun with him.”

“He’s good, but not as good as you, daddy!”

“Ah come here!” Dan scooped Tilly into his arms, lifting her high up to the ceiling then back down. He had the hugest grin on his face and Tilly was giggling wildly, but Dan didn’t care. He pulled Tilly close to him and hugged her.

“I love you, dad.”

“Love you too, Tils.”

Someone else knocked on the door. Of fucking course it was Phil, an amused smile etched onto his face.

“Tils, how about you head downstairs and say goodbye to Blaine, alright?”

“Okay!” Tilly flounced out of the room, Dan overhearing the tiny footsteps running down the stairs.

Phil closed the door behind him, still smiling.

“What are you smiling about?” Dan snapped.

“You’re so fucking ridiculous, you know that?” Phil said with a roll of his eyes.

“I’m not!” Dan protested angrily. “And wipe that stupid grin off of your face, it’s fucking irritating.”

Phil raised an eyebrow, chuckling. “Yep, you’re definitely pissed off.”

“Stop fucking laughing!” Dan swatted him on the arm. “It’s not helping me. I’m still pissed off.”

“About what?” Phil’s growing smile was really getting Dan’s last nerve.

“Fucking Blaine, okay?!” Dan exploded. “He’s so fucking perfect and he’s obviously flirting with you! He’s trying to steal you and the kids away from me, don’t you see?! And you’re putty in his hands! His charm and his wit and his goddamn stupid smile is making you fall for him, and the kids love him too! I wouldn’t be surprised if he just put you all in a van, made you sign a divorce with me, and you two would get married on a boat and leave me behind!” Dan huffed, breathing heavily.

Phil rolled his eyes again and wrapped his arms around Dan’s waist, pulling him close. He pressed his forehead against his; Dan could feel Phil’s lips hovering next to his ear.

“You are so stupid sometimes,” Phil whispered.

“The fuck?” Dan pulled away indignantly. “I’m not stupid!”

“Yes you are.”

“Am not!”

Phil rolled his eyes and gently shoved Dan away from him.

“You really need to get to know Blaine more, you idiot.”

“What are you on about?” Dan’s eyes narrowed.

“Go downstairs and talk to Blaine before he leaves. You’ll see.” Phil laid down on the bed and perched his back up against the bed frame, arms folded across his chest.

“Dick,” Dan muttered before heading downstairs. It was a lot quieter now with both Dil and Tilly watching yet another movie.

“Has Blaine left yet?” Dan asked Dil.

“He’s still outside, I think,” Dil said, looking down at the floor.

“Thanks, Dil.”

“Dad?”

“Yes?”

“Are you mad at Blaine?”

Dan’s eyes flickered to Tilly. Of course she’d tell her older brother everything. He shook his head, “Not really anymore, Dil.”

“Good,” Dil smiled shyly, “because I like Blaine.”

“I’ll bet.”

“But I still love you, dad.”

Dan gave his son a soft smile. “I love you too, Dil.”

Dan gave Dil a pat on the shoulder before briskly walking out the door and onto the porch. He saw Blaine pacing at the front of the driveway, eyes glued to his phone.

“Blaine?”

The dark-haired man looked up from his phone, eyes wide. “Mr. Howell.”

“Just call me Dan, it feels weird being called by my last name.”

“Oh, um, thanks, er, Dan.”

“Don’t worry, I don’t hate you,” Dan reassured, “at least not anymore.”

Blaine’s eyebrows furrowed. “I’m really sorry if I did anything to upset you, Mr. How- er, Dan.”

“Oh no no!” Dan waved his hand dismissively, walking down the porch steps and onto the driveway. “I was just being really silly. I’d actually like to  apologize for that outbreak.”

He paused and gauged Blaine’s reaction.

“And actually for, um, my bad behavior towards you in general.”

“Oh,” Blaine’s eyes widened even more. “Uh, it’s okay. I totally know where you’re coming from.” He gave Dan a tentative smile. “I had a feeling you were kinda overprotective.”

“Overprotective? Who said I was overprotective?” Dan said defensively.

“No offense, Mr. How- er, Dan, but you weren’t exactly subtle about it.”

“I’m not really the best at being subtle, to be honest,” Dan shrugged. “But yeah, you’re right. I guess I was envious of how well you got along with Phil and the kids.”

Blaine nodded with a humbled smile on his face.

“So well, in fact, that I actually thought you were out to steal them right from under my nose.”

Blaine burst out laughing, which startled Dan despite hearing him laugh during his banters with Phil a handful of times.

“Oh man, Mr. Howell!” Blaine grinned. “You really thought I was out to get your husband and kids?”

“Alright, alright, is it not right for a husband to be paranoid?” Dan retorted.

“No, no, it’s not that, it’s not that!” Blaine said, his hands waving in a stopping gesture. “It’s just-”

A honking horn interrupted Blaine’s sentence and a black sedan pulled up to the driveway, a Britney Spears song flooding from the rolled down windows of the car. In the driver’s seat was a young-looking man with pale skin. Dan couldn’t help but notice the bowtie around his neck, not unsimilar to the one Blaine was wearing, and he had a black glittery beret perched on top of his dirty blond hair.

“Hey!” The man said.

“Hey! Thanks for the lift!” Blaine said, about to climb into the passenger’s seat.

Dan gave Blaine a confused look. “Wait! Who’s this?”

He looked back at Dan, grin on his face. “My boyfriend.”

It was Dan’s turn for his eyes to widen.

“Come again?”

“I have a boyfriend,” Blaine smiled. “His name is Kurt, and we’ve been together for five years.”

“Ohhh,” Dan’s jaw dropped, “shit, I’m sorry, if I’d have known-”

“No, no, it’s okay!” Blaine interrupted. “I probably should have said that from the start. I’m whole new to this babysitting thing and-”

“It’s fine, it’s fine,” Dan said. “Does he treat you well?”

Blaine nodded, his eyes glittering for a second. Dan knew that look very well. “He does, Mr. Howell. He really does.”

“Good,” Dan nodded. “You’re a good guy, Blaine.”

He received a bright smile in reply.

“Oh, and Blaine?”

“Yeah, Mr. Howell?” Blaine was already in the passenger seat.

The corners of Dan’s lips quirked upward. “I told you to call me Dan.”

_fin._


End file.
